2006-03-14 dmeredith: I think it's well done in that the whole piece is devoted to reasons that he should not forgive his father then it's unexpectedly resolved in the final sentence or two adding an element of surprise. The only thing I might add is a sentence or two about why Arashi made this unexpected decision. How'd this contest turn out by the way? 2006-03-14 Metal Tsubasa: It hasn't actually ended yet. [Metal Tsubasa]: 95.Contest Entries.About Forgivness
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No one asked the mercenary anything as he exited the tent. His name was well suited and no one wanted to invoke such a storm. His fists were clenched tightly in his pockets as he walked to his tent, the knuckles white with rage.
"P-Please...," his father had chocked out as he had reached for Arashi, which had been what had forced him into that corner, "please Ken... f-forgive... me..."
Arashi forced his tent's flap open just before he slammed his fist into the supporting poll of the tent, causing it to bend under the impact. "Forgive you?!" the enraged mercenary shouted at the top of his lungs. "Who says you have the right?!"
Forgiveness on his death bed? No, that wasn't forgiveness; he just wanted a free ticket to Heaven instead of having to go where he belonged: Hell. This was so wrong, and he couldn't forgive that man so easily. No, not after everything he had done.
The man had forced Arashi into a street urchin’s life, which led to his drug addictions. The same man who burned down his own house with his wife tied to a chair inside, and sent his daughter, sick as she was, to entrap Arashi and use him to create the 'perfect army'. Forgiveness? Arashi, after all he had done in his life, was more disserving of such a word.
When Arashi thought about it, even as he had tossed "Kennet", his old self, aside, that damn bastard showed his ugly face again to drop off his sickly daughter, born from another woman not long after he had killed his wife, with the Raven Squad for protection... More specifically, for Arashi's protection. That damn bastard disserved to die, Arashi was better off with him dead.
It was then that Arashi collapsed to the ground, shaking with rage and adrenaline. "That's it," he panted in his anger, "I'll forgive you for ever living..." he paused, slamming his fist into the ground, full force, "...and for ever asking me to forgive you!"
Thank you. I really want to work this into Arashi's actual story, because his father has a lot to do with his ultimate downfall in life, as it sort of states here.
This is actually the second draft of this, the first was a lot shorter and really bad.
I love Arashi, he's one of my favorites.